Do
you have any limits on your children? Do they know what they are and the
consequences for going outside them? Not much of that type of parenting
anymore. It seems that parents would rather be “friends” with their children
than a parent and what it takes to parent – a whole lot of resolve and help
from almighty God! But wait; there is another aspect that is even becoming more
extinct than setting limits. What about questions like “Do you know where your
children are spiritually?” Is little Bobby biblically literate? Does Suzie know
the difference between virginity and purity? Are your children on the road to
responsible Christian adulthood, or are they part of an alarming new trend that
has seen the overwhelming majority of so-called Christian children walk away
from the faith? A
recent survey conducted by the Barna Group, a leading research organization
whose focus is on the relationship of faith and culture, found that less than 1
percent of the young adult population in the United States has a biblical
worldview.
Where
are the churches (pastors) and parents willing to teach and challenge young men
and women to live up to and expect nothing less than the biblical standard when
considering relationships and marriage? Most children unfortunately never will even
receive such a challenge and few even know what the standards are. When I do
counseling, I always ask about relationships, as everything revolves around
them. Most are in a wrong relationship and don’t have any or know of anyone
that would be a good relationship. This problem is exasperated when our
children leave our home and go to college. Research tells us that at a minimum
8 out of 10 leave the faith by their second year of college.
Our
country is in total chaos and we are no longer considered a “Christian”
nation. And the church is scrambling,
and rightly so, to revitalize and plant new churches. However, that isn’t going
to solve the foundational problems that our country has. Before we can ever
have strong churches that will impact our nation with the gospel, we must have
and begin with strong families. While our children and teenagers may appear
very religious, unfortunately it is largely ambiguous with no strong biblical
foundation. This ambiguity is due in large part to the lack of time and attention
devoted to spiritual matters compared to other activities. Think about it
parents, how much time, energy and attention do you give to those activities
compared to spiritual activities? It’s not just about showing up at church, but
are you committed and actively serving in your church? What spiritual
activities are you doing at home?
Let
me go ahead and drop the bomb that I hope will rock your world and wake us up! The
problem is not that these children are leaving Christianity. The problem is that
most of them, by their own admission, are not Christian! Hence their leaving
makes complete sense. The apostle John put it best when he wrote: “They went
out from us, but they were not really of us…” (1 John 2:19). Thom Rainer’s
research among Southern Baptists indicates, “nearly one-half of all church
members may not be Christians.” It is as though Christian parents have been
lulled to sleep while the thief has come in to steal, kill, and destroy our
children right under our noses (John 10:10).
But
it’s not just the parents but the church too has failed to be the equipper to
come along side the parents in emphasizing our roles as parents to raise our
children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. We too have become more
about activities and pizza parties than about teaching our children that it’s
not about a religious activity but about a relationship. That relationship is
with the Person and work of Jesus Christ. It’s a relationship that our children
should be willing to give their whole life to. To deny themselves, and to pick
up a cross and follow Him (Matt 16:24). That relationship will then affect all
other relations and their lives will then be one where they out of love submit
to boundaries in their lives. Although I put a lot of blame on the church,
ultimately the biggest impact and influence on any child’s life comes down to
the home. Our priority of relationships must once again return to Christ,
spouse, than family. Our greatest identity is in Christ (Mark 12:30). Than
husband or wife, followed by parents. To be a mom or dad is much more important
of an identity than any profession you might have.
So
how is your relationship with the Lord? How is your relationship with your
spouse? And how is your relationship with your children? If we get those
relationships right, we will begin to see a great movement of God in our churches, country and the nations. Let's get back to a biblical view of a our relational priorities - our priority as parents!
