How do I Know my Repentance is Good enough?

We know that the demand to repent is as basic as it gets in Jesus’ message. It is equally basic to, and almost synonymous with, the command, “You must be born again” (John 3:7). Which brings up the same question…how do I know I got Jesus? Assurance of salvation comes from knowing Him more and more (sanctification). Repentance is similar to that and as we must repent (and believe) to be born-again. In Jesus’ message on repentance is not behavior but the inner change that gives rise to new God-centered, Christ-exalting behavior. So how do we know if my continued repentance is genuine?

In other words, all of us would ask at any given time, "Am I real? Am I playing games? Is my faith real?" And remember, in our flesh, we don’t do anything perfectly, that’s why it all goes back to the person and work of Christ. Jonathan Edwards would say it like this: "So you think you're humble? What if you're boasting in your humility?" And you admit, "Yes, I probably am boasting in my humility." And he would ask, "Well, what if your confession that you are boasting in your humility is really a pretense, and you're still boasting in your humility?" He gave question after question that will make you realize, "There's no ending to this, it’s circular." You just keep going around and around, because you can always ask yourself, "How do you know?" You can always doubt yourself. There's no way, by mere self-analysis, to come to a point where you're looking at something that you can say, "Definitely authentic!" Like one Puritan’s prayer: “Even our tears of repentance need to be washed in the blood of Jesus Christ.”

So where in the world does assurance come from? The answer is that, even though self-examination is commended and wise up to a point (1 Cor. 11:28), the bottom line of assurance comes when you stop analyzing and you look to Christ and you look and you look and you look until Christ himself in his glory and his sufficiency by reflex, as it were, awakens a self-forgetful "Yes!" to him. I will say, that there is a greater assurance when we practice repentance on a daily basis. I use the word practice, but surely we fall short of God’s glory everyday and so short accounts are a needed discipline. As Boreham would say, “Keep short accounts with God! Do not let the arrears mount up! Do not carry anything forward from today to tomorrow! You have lost your temper? Some ugly thought has swept across the pure screen of your fancy? You failed, when the guidance was clear, to follow the gleam? Get the whole thing settled up at once! If we confess, He is faithful and just to forgive! Keep short accounts with God!”^[1]

I will add that our best moments of assurance are not the moments when we’re thinking about our assurance. The reason is because the very moment that we’re thinking about our assurance, we have the capacity at that moment to doubt our assurance (Oh, the flesh is weak!). This little voice, whether it's your conscience or the devil, is saying, "You think you have assurance, but..."

And so the only answer anyone can give and that the Bible declares is, "Look to the cross! Look to Christ!" Look to the object of our faith. And if we're able to look to the cross, if we’re able to see Him as sufficient and satisfying and powerfully able to carry all your sins, and we find ourselves drawn out of ourselves (so simple and yet simple doesn’t mean easy) to say "Yes" to Him, that's what we want. We are assured. He is our assurance at that moment. The way Paul puts it in Romans 8 is that the Holy Spirit bears witness with our spirit that we are the children of God. The witness of the Holy Spirit is the work of the Holy Spirit enabling you to look at Christ, feel him as your own, see him as precious, and say Galatians 2:20 personally: "I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live, yet not I but Christ lives in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." It's that “me” that is the settling of our assurance.

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^[1] Frank W. Boreham, “The Man and the Writer,” in All the Blessings of Life: The Best Stories of F. W. Boreham (Eureka, CA: John Broadbanks Publishing, 2010), 115.

To Repent or not to Repent

John the Baptist, is a good example who shouted out, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” This call to repentance was an urgent appeal to sinners. No one who refuses to repent can ever enter the kingdom of God. Repentance is a prerequisite, a necessary condition for salvation. On a side note, this is also part of your first question about “praying to receive Jesus for salvation.” It’s one of those answers that are yes and no depending on how you defined words and altitude for that matter. Prayer is just talking to God and if He “calls” to us through the gospel then we are then actually “answering” that call. Anyway, I digress back to repentance. 

In Scripture, repentance means “to undergo a change of one’s mind.” This change of mind is not a mere switching of minor opinions, but of the entire direction of one’s life. It involves a radical turning from sin and to Christ.

Repentance is not the cause of new birth or regeneration; it is the result or fruit of regeneration (some would disagree with me here, but that’s okay the result is the same – salvation!). Though repentance begins with regeneration, it is an attitude and action that must be repeated throughout the Christian life. As we continue to sin, we are called upon to repent as we are convicted of our sin by the Holy Spirit. I think this is where we fall way short in the church. I’m sure we have all fallen short today to bring God glory and so I wonder if there is any daily repentance going on? I digress again…

Theologians make a distinction between two kinds of repentance. The first is called attrition. Attrition is a false or spurious kind of repentance. It involves remorse caused by a fear of punishment or a loss of blessing. Every parent has witnessed attrition in a child when he is caught with his hand in the cookie jar. The child, fearing the paddle, cries, “I’m sorry, please don’t spank me!” These pleas coupled with crocodile tears are usually not signs of genuine remorse for wrongdoing. This was the kind of repentance Esau exhibited (Genesis 27:30-46). He was sorry not because he had sinned, but because he had lost his birthright. Attrition, then, is repentance motivated by an attempt to get a ticket out of hell or to otherwise avoid punishment.

Here is what I believe the “nature” of repentance is – Contrition. This, on the other hand, is true and godly repentance. It is genuine. It includes a deep remorse for having offended God. The contrite person openly and fully confesses his sin with no attempt to excuse it or justify it. This acknowledgment of sin is coupled with a willingness to make restitution whenever possible and a resolve to turn away from sin. This is the spirit of repentance that David exhibited in Psalm 51. “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. . . . The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and a contrite heart—these, O God, You will not despise” (Psalm 51:10, 17).

When repentance is offered to God in a spirit of true contrition, He promises to forgive us and to restore us to fellowship with Him: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

So, to sum it all up, repentance is a necessary condition for salvation, the fruit of regeneration, attrition is the false stuff motivated by fear and being caught, contrition is the right stuff motivated by godly remorse. True repentance includes full confession, restitution, and resolves to turn from sin. And we serve a great and gracious God who forgives and restores ALL who truly repent. May we do it often!